Posts Tagged ‘loss’

Rebounds

February 17, 2016

baskball

An admired mentor recently shared what she called “career stumbles.” Over four decades two notable incidents stood out. Once she took a job that meant a terror-filled overnight experience hiding in a closet with a throat-slashed domestic violence victim. She left that new job fast. Another, when the CEO post she accepted came with a hostile predecessor that had an active interest in her failure and a different candidate. Although it wasn’t immediately evident, in both cases, she moved to a far better opportunity.

Daily, we all make mistakes. It’s likely you can quickly think of errors in your work or life. Perhaps, a misjudgment or misrepresentation that created an awkward sidestep? A misunderstanding that plagued a relationship? A transition that wasn’t smooth? A misspoken word? And, sometimes unfair or regrettable experiences happen to us. What action follows is critical: the rebound.

Consistent Action

NBA greats Wilt Chamberlain and Bill Russell had more than 20,000 rebounds during their playing careers. These were awesome defensive basketball players with powerful combinations of height, strength and effort. It meant, after a missed field goal or free throw, they consistently retrieved the ball. They had “hustle” on the court and were willing to do what some call “grunt work.” These players made huge contributions to their teams and were individual stars, too.

Willpower, discipline, positioning, timing, effort all matter a lot in making a rebound. Seventy percent of the time, the ball comes off the board or rim opposite the launched shot. Anticipation is vital.

A Bad Bounce

Just like off-the-court events, the toughest challenge can be when the ball makes an unpredictable bounce. Sometimes it is a surgery intended to “fix” that generates new problems, a decline from the graduate school you desperately wanted, a failed marriage, near bankruptcy, an unexpected death or unfair job loss. Regardless, each of us controls two things: our effort and attitude. Rebounds are essential to recovery and participation.

When a stumble, slip or error occurs (and it will), consider important encouragement from the influential Irish writer Samuel Beckett: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.”

Lisa Wyatt Knowlton , Ed.D. has served as chief strategy officer and managing partner Phillips Wyatt Knowlton, Inc. (www.pwkinc.com). She has cross-sector and international experience. Lisa is an author and W.K. Kellogg Leadership Fellow. Contact her via:lwyattknowlton@gmail.com.

Mistakes Smart People Make

October 2, 2011

Twyla Tharp

“The best failures are the private ones…” writes Twyla Tharp, renowned choreographer, in Creative Habit.

Our work places and our communities, however, are public social spaces. While learners don’t seek failure it can be an enormous source of new knowledge. A willingness to fail is certainly an essential element of learning.

Three Common Blunders

The human brain (and ego) is a remarkable asset, but it can be an obstacle to success. Sociologists, psychotherapists and anthropologists offer some vital insights to manager-leaders about the brain and behavior. There are three common mistakes smart people make:

Denial – a refusal to acknowledge an error.

Loss Chasing – the inability to “make peace” with an error which causes more damage in a pattern of additional mis-steps.

Hedonic Edits – revisions that either convince ourselves errors don’t matter or reinterpret errors as success.

We’re all guilty of these mistakes – sometimes. Great leaders have found intentional ways to minimize or even eliminate these common human blunders. Denial is avoided more often when we can separate errors from our self-worth. Loss-chasing is reduced if there’s self-awareness and adaptation. Hedonic edits occur less frequently if we  face the mirror with   clear recall and brutal candor. Humility is an antidote for all these quirks.

Get & Give

Regrettably, our capacity to revise our internal personal stories often becomes part of a public profile. Humans are social and so we massage, arrange and position material to manage image – for ourselves and others. While ruthless review, reflection and action towards self improvement is constructive, it may not be enough. Our inner critic can mislead or fail us.

For these reasons, honest advice has huge value.  Actively seek feedback from trusted resources. Tharp’s advice is “Challenge a status quo of your own making…All you need is people with good judgment in other parts of their lives who care about you and will give you honest opinion without strings.” In turn, after asking permission, offer caring, thoughtful feedback to help others develop.

Lisa Wyatt, Ed. D. is a strategy architect and partner in Phillip Wyatt Knowlton, Inc. PWK is a performance management resource for systems change with clients worldwide. Lisa has cross-sector and international experience. She is  an author and W.K. Kellogg Leadership Fellow. See : www.pwkinc.com


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